When You Call My Name by Tucker Shaw

​This was such a beautiful and heartfelt story about love and queerness against the backdrop of the AIDS crisis. It told the important story about the LGBTQ movement in New York in 1990, the homophobia and mistreatment at the height of the HIV/AIDS epidemic, but most of all it told a gripping coming of age story and a story about first love and finding the courage to be true to who you are.

When You Call My Name reminded me a lot of one of my absolute favorite books, Like A Love Story by Abdi Nazemian, which is truly high praise, but it still had a very distinct own voice and story. It follows the two gay teens Adam and Ben as they both go through life-changing moments.

Adam lives with his supportive and openminded parents (really loved them!) in Greenwhich when he’s asked out on his first date by a cute customer at the movie rental store where he works. Over the weeks when they meet up each Saturday he falls in love with Callum, but feels that Callum never fully lets him in. Not until he figures out that Callum has AIDS and will never fulfill his director dreams. But Adam refuses to give up on Callum and in the shadow of death, their love story blossoms.

Fashion-lover Ben used to live upstate with his mother, but when she found out about his sexuality she kicked him out. When we meet him, he’s moving in with his older brother in downtown New York and gets to meet his brother’s girlfriend, a fashion photographer who invites him into her exciting life. But Ben will soon find out that even in New York, the world is full of close-minded and homophobic persons.

In a chance meeting near the hospital where Callum is being treated, Ben and Adam meet, and a lifelong friendship with a promise of something more, starts to grow.

I absolute adored this book! The characters were amazing, so lovable and unique, and the story was so gripping and heartfelt. It was also something of a love letter to New York and a homage to the music, artists, fashion icons and super models of the 1990s, which gave me such wonderful nostalgia. From the very first page, the story just pulled me in and I couldn’t put it down until I found out what would happen with all the characters who completely stole my heart.

The topic was heavy at times, with all the sickness, the fear of dying, the homophobia and violence and parental rejection, but it was nevertheless a beautiful love story and a story full of hope. It was also a story about friendship and how meeting the right person at the right moment in time can heal a broken heart and give you the courage to be true to who you are and learning to love and be proud despite all discrimination and cruelty around you.

And the author’s note at the end… it truly brought tears to my eyes and gave the story added closure.

“They say that memories fade with time but I don’t believe that’s true. You carry them with you like stones in your pocket. Sometimes when it’s quiet you take them out and roll them between your fingers. Then you put them back in your pocket, safe again. You don’t leave them behind.”

I will definitely carry Adam, Callum and Ben like stones in my pocket from now on.

Rating:
5 stars

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Author info:
Tucker Shaw