“This book is a love letter to grunge music,” the author Lee Matthew Goldberg said himself in the acknowledgement, and it’s so true. For us who are old enough to have experienced the 1990s ourselves this book was an amazing walk down memory lane. It was also such a poignant, heartbreaking and emotional book about a troubled teen dealing with her demons, about hitting rock bottom and finding herself along an epic road trip. Ultimately, it’s a book about healing, seeing the good in people and believing in yourself.

Nico’s older sister died of a brain aneurysm one morning just before her 17th birthday, and left Nico and her parents devastated with grief. Nico also believed that she would face the same destiny and while being neglected by her parents, she spiraled down the wrong path; drinking, smoking, skipping school and acting out. Eventually, she even took her friend’s advice and ran away, going on a road trip to check off the items on her bucket list and see the house of her idol, Kurt Curtain, before she’d face death like her sister.

I struggled a bit at first to root for Nico. I felt for her and could see the strain she was under and the demons she had to deal with, but I nevertheless couldn’t really stomach the rude way she treated people who were trying to help her, or the way she threw herself at any guy that came in her way. But after a while she found her way in to my heart somehow. And she did show some amazing character growth along the way. I’m also a sucker for all the music references and the places she visited along her road trip.

This was a truly heartbreaking book at times. Nico went through so much, and there were so many ups and downs, so much pain and grief, and the real and honest way it explored mental illness, drug abuse, self-harm, parental neglect and recklessness made it very tough and sometimes upsetting to read. I had the heart in my mouth almost all the way through, so scared for what crazy thing Nico would do next or what someone might do to her. But it was also a book that had so much joy and magical experiences, like learning to surf and ticking off some of Nico’s bucket list items (trying not to spoil anything here, so keeping it very vague…) and so many people that reached out to her out of goodness. In the end, I wouldn’t call it a sad story, but rather a raw and honest coming-of-age-story that was also full of hope.

All in all, Runaway Train was a wild and wonderful ride. I had to take breaks reading it when things got too intense, but I already know that it will become one of those stories that stays with me for a long time. The writing style had such a wonderful flow and authenticity, and the concept with the chapter titles being the songs on Nico’s mixtape was brilliant in the way each song matched the mood of the chapter. I’m so happy for this lover letter to Kurt Cobain and grunge music, and believe that this book will make a new generation discover the wonderful music I grew up listening to.

Thank you to Xpresso Book Tours and NetGalley for the ARC and blog tour invitation for this wonderful book! All opinions are my own and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

Rating:
4 stars

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Happy Book Birthday to this gem of a book! The Hate Project was so awkward, sweet, funny and completely unique! I loved Oscar’s dark sense of humor and the unsentimental way this book dealt with mental health issues. And ‘The Motherfuckers’ were the best group of friends/found family ever!

This is the second novel in The Love Study series about a college group of friends calling themselves ‘The Motherfuckers’, but it can well be read as a standalone as each book focuses on different persons from the group and their problems and relationships. This time, focus was on Oscar, who is dealing with some serious issues with anxiety and depression, and who is terrified of relationships. When he gets fired from his job, one of the Motherfuckers set him up to help his friend Jack clean out his grandparent’s house, which is a lot of work considering that the grandfather was a hoarder. Jack also has some serios emotional baggage with trust issues after a bad divorce, and the two men develops a grumpy, frenemies, bickering relationship spiced with some extra benefits… but what should be just casual sex soon develops into something more that threatens Oscar carefully built-up walls to keep him functioning.

The Hate Project was such a sweet, funny, and incredibly unique story! I loved the unsentimental way in which Oscar’s mental health problems were described and how he was allowed to be totally himself at all times; grumpy, acting out, getting panic attacks and lacking social skills, but still being such an adorable and wonderful person and having such a strong network of supporting friends in The Motherfuckers. And Jack stole my heart from the very start. Not to mention his grandmother, Evelyn was hilarious, strong-willed and simply amazing!

The writing style was very light and easy even though the story dealt with a lot of heavy topics, and the dark sense of humor and the bickering between all characters made it such an enjoyable and fun read. Some things that Oscar did were so awkward, and sometimes I wanted to shake some sense in him and stop him from throwing away what’s good in his life, but this was part of what made this story so real, refreshing and addictive.

All in all, this is one of the sweetest stories about the love of found families I’ve ever read. It’s also such a real and honest story about navigating life with social anxiety, depression and mental health treatments. But most of all, it’s a heartwarming story about finding love, friends and happiness. Even if it presents itself in a grumpy way…

Thank you to Carina Press and NetGalley for the ARC and blog tour invitation for this wonderful book! All opinions are my own and I am leaving my honest review voluntarily.

Rating:
4.5 adorkable stars rounding up to 5

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This is the first book in the queer fantasy series Northern Witch following sixteen-year-old Mark, who belongs to a family of powerful witches, as he gets to learn about his family heritage and start to practice magic himself. But, as if learning magic and handling normal school stuff isn’t enough, there is also a new distraction to balance, when a new gorgeous guy suddenly starts in Mark’s school.

This first installment in the series, Winter Trials, was something of an introductory novella and was only about 80 pages long. But it was amazing how K.S. Marsden managed to introduce the world building and magical system, and describe the characters to make you root for them so completely on those few pages!

After his sixteenth birthday, Mark’s grandmother Nanna offers to teach him to practice magic and educate him in their family heritage as powerful witches. Growing up knowing about his family’s abilities, Mark is pretty chill about it all and even tells his closest friends Harry and Sarah. But then the new guy in school, Damien, draws his attention and makes for a dangerous distraction. Especially when one of Mark’ first magical practices makes him discover some of Damien’s darker secrets.

This was such a fun, fast-paced and heart-warming book! I especially loved Mark’s sassy grandmother Nanna and how she made all the magic seem natural. I also loved the fun banter between Mark and his friends, and how supportive they were both of Mark being gay and a witch. The romance part felt a bit rushed, but yet authentic and totally swoon-worthy!

All in all, this was a wonderful start to a new adorable queer YA series full of magic, wonderful friendship and family relations, and I can’t wait to continue with the next installment!
​
Thank you BookSirens for the free review copy! All opinions are my own and I am leaving my honest review voluntarily.

Rating:
4 stars

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​Author info:
K.S. Marsden

Happy Book Birthday tomorrow to Up in Smoke by Annabeth Albert! I’m so happy and honored to be a part of the Carina Press Blog Tour celebrating this ​sweet and heart-warming m/m romance about two absolutely endearing guys falling in love at the same time as their whole lives got turned upside down. It was a truly enchanting story about stepping up to the biggest responsibilities of all, to realize that things you’d taken for granted in your life might not be what you actually need or want, and about finding happiness, love and family in the most unexpected way.

Up in Smoke is the fourth book in the Hotshots series, but each book can very well be read as complete standalones. They are all set in the smoke jumping world, but with different characters and with focus not specifically on the smoke jumping work as such but on the characters and their story and growth. But just let me say that it sure doesn’t hurt that there are a lot of brave firefighters in the stories…

Brandt Wilder is a freewheeling smoke jumper who thrives on adrenaline. He’s popular and fun-loving and not at all looking to settle down or form lasting relationships. It’s a lifestyle that’s served him well…right up until the day he finds a baby on his doorstep.

Shane Travis is the semi-closeted country-singer whose music career still hasn’t hit it off, and who’s spent most of his life cleaning up after his sister Shelby’s messes. But even though he’d stopped being surprised by her recklessness, he’d never in a million year expect her to ditch and leave a baby behind and for him to be the one to have to tell Brandt Wilder the big news. Especially not since the hot fire jumper has been on his mind ever since his sister took them skydiving together the year before.

I loved Annabeth Albert’s writing style and the wonderful dynamic between Brandt and Shane. I loved their banter and the humor, and not to mention the chemistry… It was absolutely sizzling! I really appreciated that this story was so low-key and focused on Brandt’s and Shane’s relationship and their character growth, and not going for the clichés with baby mommy drama or making Shelby into a pure evil character. Leaving your baby is a completely unforgivable thing to do, but Annabeth Albert did a wonderful job to make Shelby a complex character with mental health issues that made her actions more understandable.

That said, I didn’t really like the beginning of this book though. The whole situation with Brandt hooking up with Shelby at the same time as her brother intrigued him never felt right. And the way Shelby left the baby and how Brandt just accepted being the father of the baby without stirring up the world to search for Shelby felt a bit too unrealistic. But those minor complaints set aside, this was a beautiful, sweet and addictive read with some amazing character growth!

What I loved most about this story was the slow-burning romance and how the instant attraction between Brandt and Shane was allowed to grow into respect for each other and a solid friendship first. The sexy parts were quite explicit, but still very sweet. They really showed how both Brandt and Shane felt vulnerable from having had very little experience from being with other men, but how they allowed themselves to open up and trust each other to explore new things in a safe and respectful way.

“Damn. Shane wasn’t just something. He was everything.”

All in all, Up in Smoke was a sweet, low-angst and heart-warming story about finding love and a home with your chosen family. There was no unnecessary drama just for the sake of it, which I really appreciated. Finding out that you’re a dad and falling in love with your baby’s uncle and trying to navigate the way through a completely new life situation is overwhelming enough. It was my first read by Annabeth Albert, but it will certainly not be my last!
​
Thank you to Carina Press and NetGalley for the ARC and blog tour invitation for this wonderful book! All opinions are my own and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

Rating:
4 stars

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This book completely blew me away! It was such an adorable and sweet, but also so heart-wrenching and gripping, story about two boy band members falling in love with each other and having to choose between risking the band and their whole careers or being allowed to be their true selves. It was also a terrifying tale showing the harsh realities of the music industry, as well as a wonderful tribute to loyalty and friendship. I read this book feverishly in one sitting, hoping for the HEA the main characters so deserved, but fearing that the evil manager or the characters themselves would cause a train wreck hindering that.

The story follows the boy band ‘Saturday’ and its four members Ruben, Zach, Jon and Angel, as they head off to Europe for an overseas concert tour together with their strict management. Everything in their lives is planned and arranged in detail for the personas they’ve been typecasted for; the clothing (even in private), their hairstyles, who they’re allowed to talk to, and what they are allowed to say or do. To live up the mass-appeal demands, Ruben has been forced to hide being gay since he was sixteen, Angel has been forced to change his name, Jon has been forced to play on his sex appeal and Zach has been stopped from writing music the way he wants to. Basically, they are treated more as products than real people. That is, until the pressure just gets too high, and Zach starts to question his sexuality, Angel starts taking drugs and Ruben just can’t take any more of his mother’s ‘feedback’ and lying about who he really is. When things get weird between him and his secret crush Zach after a kiss one night with too much to drink, the foundation for the whole band starts to crack.

This was such an amazing book! It didn’t shy away from the darkness and trauma and the problems with the entertainment industry, but it was also a heartwarming, sweet and adorable story about love and unwavering friendship. I rooted so for all the four main characters, they all completely stole my heart in their own ways. They were so complex and wonderful and my heart ached for them, especially Ruben and Zach struggling with new feelings for each other and for their right to be together in open, but also for Jon always coming second after the business for his father, and Angel for not getting the help he so desperately needed. And the friendship between the four of them was truly amazing. Even though they fought, they always had each other’s backs.

I loved the writing style and how the authors made us reader come along the four main characters’ journey from insecure, closeted, troublesome kids to young men finding their path. I also really appreciated the authentic way in which the pressure and objectification within the music industry was explored, showing the abuse of powers, the constant supervision, control and staging, the exhausting working conditions, the homophobia and marginalization of queer artists, and how young celebrities are kept isolated and risk to lose their sense of who they truly are. There were some parts that were almost too heartbreaking and I wanted to scream at the horrible persons responsible for the way the band members were treated. But there were also so many parts with hope and joy, amazing character developments, a swooning love story and, most of all, the important message that you are beautiful and wonderful just the way you are

All in all, I absolutely loved this book and recommend it with all my heart! It was such a powerful story about accepting and being proud of who you are, for wanting things and for being brave enough to chase after those things no matter how scary it feels or how hard it might make your life. It dealt with difficult topics in an honest and realistic way, but it was also such an uplifting, heart-warming, sweet and emotional rollercoaster for a love story!

Thank you NetGalley for the opportunity to read an ARC of this gem! All opinions are my own and I am leaving my honest review voluntarily.

Rating:
5 glorious stars

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​Author info:
Sophie Gonzales
Cale Dietrich

This book isn’t like anything I’ve ever read before! Completely unique in its mix of fairytale atmosphere with lake monsters and the very raw and painful reality with a dead mother, a father with eating disorders, a predator on/off boyfriend, a friend who is abused by his step dad and the struggle for Callie to figure out her own sexuality and feelings for her best friend. Beautiful and poignant, desperate and hopeful, and awkward and sweet at the same time.

The story follows teenager Callie Catwell, whose life certainly is not a walk in the park. After the death of her mother, she’s living in a trailer park with her father, who is struggling with anorexia and panic attacks. Her best friend and neighbor, Rafael, is living with an abusive and homophobic step father and Callie herself is in an on/off toxic relationship with her ex-boyfriend Joseph. In addition to all that, she’s struggling with her own sexuality and the growing romantic feelings for her best girl friend Mei. When she sees a lake monster one morning, it brings Callie some magic for the first time in her life, and a way to forget all difficulties in her life.

Callie was such a unique and amazing main character! It took me a little while to fully root for her and the way she told the story. The writing style and the language was very special, in the way Callie reflected upon the world and in the way she thought and dissected and worried about just about all and everything. But once I got into it, I absolutely loved the narration and Callie herself! She was so caring and empathetic of others, yet with so little self-esteem herself. She took on so many emotional responsibilities, especially for her father, and put everyone else’s needs first. It was so frustrating how she let her ex Joseph treat her, and how she self-destructively she kept seeking him out, when she knew that he was nothing but trouble. But eventually, and with the help of her friends (and the lake monster in a way), she started an amazing growth journey to explore her sexuality and find the courage to be true to herself.

The monster didn’t play as big a part in the story as I’d first thought, but it did add a wonderful magical touch and worked as a guiding light to Callie in her struggles to stand up for herself and find hope and courage in her difficulties.

All in all, this was a unique, raw, honest and beautiful coming-of-age story, with great representation and a touch of magic to light up a very harsh and painful reality. It was a powerful and gripping tale exploring eating disorders, abuse and victim blaming, that was heartbreaking at times, but most of all empowering and heartwarming. I sincerely enjoyed it, and know that I will keep think about it and Callie and her friends for a long time.

Thank you to Pride Book Tours and GenZ Publishing for the blog tour invitation for this wonderful book! All opinions are my own and I am leaving my honest review voluntarily.

Rating:
4 stars

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Amazon

​Author info:
Sophia DeRise

This anthology is part of a charity project to help celebrate International Take A Chance Day. Seventeen authors came together to write stories outside their comfort zones to explore gender and sexuality aspects that span the whole spectrum and genres from contemporary to sci fi to paranormal and relationships of all kinds, and with all proceeds going to the AIDS Healthcare Foundation.

As in all anthologies there are stories you enjoy more than others, but all were very well written and added something unique. My favorites were Desert Knight by D.G. Carothers, Alien Attraction by Gianni Holmes, The Twilight Hours by KC Luck, Always and Only You by Claire Marta and Abrianna Denae and The Sweetest Ache by Bretton Sans.

Desert Knight by D.G. Carothers was a sweet sci fi story containing intelligent species of all shapes, cuddle parties and a very sexy lavender skinned male with boundary issues who the space PI Tekken Mcallister can’t help falling in love with when helping him find his missing uncle and stumbling into a case of futuristic sex trafficking. Very unique but so adorable!

Alien Attraction by Gianni Holmes was another unique but adorable story about true love defying all obstacles, when an alien prince finds his chosen one in a human man and ends up fighting for his inter-species love story and the life of his unborn children.

In The Twilight Hours by KC Luck we returned to earth again in a story about how it’s never too late to find love and happiness when 60+ women Helen and Mel meets by chance at a remote campground.

Always and Only You by Claire Marta and Abrianna Denae was my absolute favorite of all the stories. It was such a gripping and heartfelt story about a lost love and second chances when Dallas comes back as a transgender man to the only boy he’s ever loved, but who he couldn’t be with until he finally was his true self. It was so raw and authentic in the way Dallas had to feel at home in his own body before he could meet Ward again. It was so beautiful about souls understanding each other, about the chemistry between Dallas and Ward and about the two of them being soul mates not because they were perfect but because their combined flaws pieced them together.

The Sweetest Ache by Bretton Sans was another gorgeous second chance romance. The Summer after high school, Travis kissed his best friend Spencer, but the next week he left for an LDS Church mission and never pretended it happened. Ten years later, he returns as a famous musician, finally out and ready for a relationship. Despite his fear of getting heart-broken all over again, Spencer agrees to go for a hike with Travis. I really loved this low-angst romance and the cute bantering between Travis and Spencer, but also the vulnerability and the sweetness between the two of them exploring what they could have had already ten years ago, if Church and other people’s opinions hadn’t stopped them.

Some of the stories were perhaps a little too much out of my comfort zone, and the anthology as a whole was a bit long; the stories were all a bit longer than usual and added up to a quite massive read in total. But all in all, I recommend this anthology with all my heart! It’s such a unique collection of amazing stories all showing in different ways that love truly is love and doesn’t see any gender, race or sexuality!

Thank you to Gay Book Promotions for the blog tour invitation for this wonderful book! All opinions are my own and I am leaving my honest review voluntarily.

Rating:
4 stars

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This was such an adorable, sweet and quirky feel-good rom com! I binge-read this book in one sitting, so smitten by the wonderful characters and the fun and charming story with a royal twist!

The story follows Australian lawyer Amelia Glendale, who’s spent her life swooning about the British royals (especially the youngest of the princes, Leo) and who’s landed her dream job in London at the Queen’s Charitable Foundation. But when the queen dies, Amelia finds herself now working for her long-time crush and his stuffy older brother Prince Edmund. Thrown into the princes’ orbit though, Amelia discovers that maybe the perfect man for her isn’t the prince she expected…

This was such a funny (laugh-out-loud even) and smart rom com, completely adorable! I loved the main character Amelia so much and how witty and sarcastic she was and how little impressed she was by the upper-crust people (except for being a bit too star-struck to speak to Prince Leo the first time she met him…) and the stuffy traditions. She came across as a little too naïve at times though, and the story was perhaps a little unrealistic, but it didn’t really matter when the story overall was so well and charmingly executed.

I also really loved so many of the other characters, like Amelia’s best friend Penny and the hilarious royal princess cousins Lucy and Emma.

All in all, this was an adorable and fast-paced feel-good story with a swoon-worthy romance, wonderful friendships and lovable characters, and I can’t wait to read the next book in the series to find out what happens next!
​
Thank you to Xpresso Book Tours for the ARC and blog tour invitation for this wonderful book! All opinions are my own and I am leaving my honest review voluntarily.

Rating:
4 royal stars

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This is such a delightful and entertaining YA rom com, with amazing representation and authentic characters! Highly recommended for anyone looking for a light-hearted read that at the same time discusses important themes and deals with many of the issues queer teenagers struggles with in a real way.

The story follows sixteen-year-old Darcy Phillips who gives anonymous relationship advice to her high school peers via ‘Locker 89’. Darcy is openly bisexual and has a wonderful supportive group of friends and family, especially her sister (my absolute favorite person in this story!). But she could nevertheless really need some of her own relationship advice about how to tell her best friend, Brooke, that she’s been secretly in love with her for forever. Especially when she can’t help herself from meddling in Brooke’s dating life out of jealousy. Or when things take a turn for the worse when the school hottie and swim star Alexander Brougham sees her opening locker 89 and blackmails her into being her own private relationship coach in the strive to win his ex-girlfriend back.

There were so many things I loved about this book, like the wonderful relationship between Darcy and her older transgender sister Ainsley (and the fact in itself that Ainsley was transgender but it wasn’t made into a big deal), the insightful discussions about internal biphobia and how bisexual people aren’t ‘queer enough’ if they’re in a relationship with someone of the opposite gender, all the representation including gay, lesbian, pansexual, ace and non-binary characters (to name a few), and the great dialogues. I loved the funny bantering and authentic dialogues, and how the teenage friendships were described. It was all so well done in the way issues such as crushes, jealousy, insecurity, finding your true self and where you belong, were addressed.

I must admit though that it took me a long time to root for Darcy. Normally I love flawed characters, but here I had problems connecting with her because she didn’t feel fleshed out enough for me to accept some of the double standards she had and because I just couldn’t understand her motivations at times. And the relationship with, and Darcy’s secret crush on, her best friend Brooke never felt completely believable, there was something off with the dynamics there for me. But kudos to Sophie Gonzales for not being afraid of showing Darcy’s lesser likable sides, like her selfishness, jealousy and pettiness, and for the amazing character development she let her (and some of the other characters, especially Brougham) undergo. No matter how cliché it might be, I do have a soft spot for missunderstood bad boys with hidden good hearts, so after a rough start Brougham really won me over...

All in all, this was such a delightful, sweet, adorkable and wonderful YA story that embraced and showed an amazing array of queer characters who all felt authentic and real, and opened up for important discussions about biphobia at the same time as it was a fast-paced, light-hearted and addictive read. Highly recommended!

Rating:
4 stars

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​Author info:
Sophie Gonzales

This is such an important, beautiful and inspiring ownvoices-story showing that there are many ways to be queer and trans, and how important it is to find your own voice and be your fullest self. Between Perfect and Real is honest and raw, but also so full of hope, and with amazing characters that have completely captured my heart! This heartfelt coming-of-age story about the struggles of a transgender teen boy deserves to be read by everyone! 

The story follows high school senior Dean Foster, who knows he’s a trans guy, but to everyone else, including his girlfriend Zoe, is seen as a lesbian girl. But when he gets casted as Romeo in the school play, he realizes that he wants everyone to see him for who he really is. Not just on the stage, but everywhere in his life.

I completely rooted for Dean from the very first second and my heart ached for him through all his struggles and doubts. This story was so real and didn’t shy away from any of the difficulties Dean faced, such as body dysphoria, anxiety, self-doubt, transphobia, bullying and all other highs and lows of coming out as trans and the struggles when not everyone close to you can accept the change. The way Dean’s mother reacted and how she kept dead-naming him made me so angry I wanted to scream out loud at times… But it was nevertheless a hopeful and inspiring story about self-discovery and acceptance, about making it possible to live out your true self and to be loved for who you are.

One of things I loved most about this book was how it showed that there is not just one way to be trans, but that being queer and trans comes with infinite possibilities to find your own voice. I also really loved the beautiful friendships and support from Dean’s friends and his support group. There were so many wonderful characters that I rooted for almost as much as for Dean. Especially his best friend Ronnie completely stole my heart away in the way he unconditionally supported Dean and helped him find a way to express himself via his clothes.

All in all, Between Perfect and Real was an absolutely wonderful and heart-wrenching story with an important message and authentic and relatable characters to root for. I am so glad that Ray Stoeve wrote this book to give more nuances to the narrative about transness and to show that there are so many more ways of being trans and queer. I hope that many readers will feel empowered and seen by this book and the way it shows how no one should have to conform to anyone else’s standards of sexual identity or gender, but that we are all free to be who we are. I highly recommend it and know that Dean and his moving story will stay with me for a very long time!

Thank you NetGalley and ABRAMS Kids for the eARC and the possibility to read this wonderful book! All opinions are my own and I am leaving my honest review voluntarily.

This book will be released on April 27, 2021.

Rating:
4.5 heartfelt stars rounding up to 5

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Author info:
Ray Stoeve