This Is Not the End by Sidney Bell

This is the first fully polyamorous love story that I’ve read, so before starting reading, I was a bit nervous what I’d might think of it. But I absolutely LOVED this adorable and sweet book! There was nothing of the over-the-top drama, playing games or even cheating that I’d worried about. Instead, this was such a beautiful story about a loving relationship with respect for all parties involved, and about finding the courage to be true to yourself and allow yourself love and happiness even if it doesn’t come in the most ordinary way.

I read this wonderful book in one sitting, completely falling in love with the story and the writing style. I really loved the pacing, the slow and amazing build of the characters and all emotions.

Rock star Zac and former model Anya are happily married with a beautiful son, but living a life that is not too far from their previous hedonistic ones. They enjoy partying and occasionally to pick up men for threesomes. But they are always fiercely loyal to each other and their family, never letting any of the men they bring home actually mean anything to them. Not until Anya starts to feel attracted to Zac’s best friend and band mate Cal. Zac’s friendship with Cal is the foundation of his career and, next to Anya, Cal has always been the most important relationship in his life. So when Anya’s idea grows into desire for Zac as well, it puts every bond that exists between them at risk.

I rooted so for all three characters. Anya was such a strong and badass female lead. I loved how she always spoke her mind and didn’t let motherhood stop her ambition, but how she always managed to put family first nevertheless. And Zac was such a fun, but sweet, bad boy. But the character that completely stole my heart was Cal. He was one of those troubled characters that I just couldn’t help but love. He’s a recovering alcoholic, with so many hidden thoughts and desires. He’s loved Zac since the first time he’d met him, but never allowed himself to let Zac know the depth of his feelings. Not until Zac gives him permission to make love to his wife… when Zac and Anya for the first time have invited someone they care deeply about to share their bed, their home, and their life. Risking Zac’s and Cal’s friendship and career for the chance of a fulfilling relationship that re-defines what family and marriage means.

Sidney Bell made an amazing job explaining the depths of the feelings the three of them developed and showing how a loving relationship can be strong enough for three persons. The character developments, and how they all explored their relationship and themselves, their struggle to find the courage to open up completely to each other and, for Cal the struggle to accept who he really was, was so realistically and beautifully described. And even though the sex scenes were super steamy and more explicit than in the YA books I normally read, they were written in such a tender and sweet way, that it added so much to the story and never felt even close to awkward.

All in all, this is an adorable and deeply emotional novel that makes you question your way of looking at love and family. I felt that I learned about this new lifestyle alongside Cal and got so many new perspectives along the way. It really warmed my heart and I enjoyed reading it so much more than I’d ever dared to hope! I highly recommend it to anyone, especially if you love romance and complex characters and don’t care how many people are involved in a relationship or want to learn more about polyamorous love.

Thank you NetGalley and Carina Press for the opportunity to read this adorable book in exchange for an honest review!

Rating:
5 stars

Get your own copy:
Amazon

​Author info:
Sidney Bell